Holy crap, it's midlate-April. I could round up and say it's almost May!
Let's rewind the clock and talk about why I've been quiet here.
At the end of March, we stepped onto a cruise ship and spent the first 10 days of April floating around the Caribbean and parts of South America. From beginning to end, we were off work almost 2 full weeks. With the prep work around the house and yard to get ready for our departure, and a mad rush and extra hours at the office, it's been almost a month since I've lifted a paintbrush, and longer since I've rolled any dice.
This was our fourth cruise in 18 months. We normally budget for two vacations a year, though spending all of our available vacation time on cruise ships has been very abnormal for us (vs. other destinations/activities). But that's how it lined up.
All this time onboard ship has led to a feeling of having two lives. I commented to Mrs. Zoxe as we boarded this ship that I feel like we put our real life on hold and we go pick up where we left off in some alternate timeline. And with a smile I thought, "and yah, I'm okay with that."
Towards the middle of the trip, I started to think of it as "the blur." The only days that mattered were today, yesterday, and tomorrow. Anything beyond that was a blur. I had no idea what day of the week it was. Everything kind of smeared together. Usually my life is reasonably distinct and precise. The blur means my life is a finger painting with the colors bleeding and oozing together.
And that, ultimately, is what keeps us coming back to the big white boats. The ability to check out, detox, and strip away all of those accumulated decisions (at least temporarily) and become another version of myself and hope that I like the person that I find there.
This trip was longer than most, and the additional duration certainly fed the illusion. It was such a strong feeling throughout the trip - that my other life was the dream and THIS was my reality - that it was a little jarring to come home.
Welcome to the blur.
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