Ikea Hellquest

I'm currently on a quest to overhaul our gaming alcove.  We have a family gathering in a couple of weeks, and I need to free up space and make things tidy before our 3- and 4-year old nieces descend upon our abode.  So, I've spent the past two Sunday afternoons assembling our new Besta chest/organizer.  This is not as exciting as it sounds!

Ikea Besta modular package from the product catalog wonderland.

Background:  Besta is a modular line at Ikea that lets you customize the result. It's primarily intended for TV/entertainment centers but we found a pre-config'd setup that will fit our gaming alcove perfectly and allow us to centralize all the various boxes and unassembled models that we have stashed around the house.

Hellquest, Chapter 1:  The older I get, the more I loathe box stores.  We've known for awhile that the gaming alcove needed some storage options but I was reluctant to buy based only on the online catalog and theoretical dimensions.  A few weeks ago we took a deep breath and braved the local Ikea to get actual eyeballs on the products.  We were in and out of the store as quickly as possible, before I failed a sanity roll when dealing with the SUV Soccer Mom Mafia (SSMM) that roams the suburban tundra around the Ikea mecca (*shakes angry fist at SSMM*). 

Anyway, with the valuable intel we needed, we retreated to our laptops to min/max the strategy (actual build configuration of the modular items) from the safety of our own country stronghold.  Then, for $29, had it all delivered to the house.

It was $29 well spent to have someone else collect all the bits and then hump them to my front door.

SSMM thwarted.  Hahahahaha.


Hellquest, Chapter 2: But ... the problem with the modular stuff is that upon delivery there was a very intimidating mountain of boxes in our entryway.   Each bit, each box, each morsel, has its own SKU, and came in its own packaging, with its own instructions.   Now instead of facing mortal combat with the SSMM, I stared down a huge puzzle quest with many possible false steps bearing mortal danger and shredded faux-plywood. 

I hauled the biggest boxes upstairs and began picking through them.  I retained all my fingers, escaped mortal peril from papercuts, and avoided scratching any finished surfaces by opening boxes with a utlity knife - which is something Ikea High Command expressly forbids in all of their hieroglyphs.

Here is where we stopped at the end of Chapter 2.  Backbone complete and all big boxes pillaged.  Now the details start.

Hellquest, Chapter 3:  Alas, there was a storyline complication.  One of the SKUs was missing from my packup - apparently the GM involved noticed my smugness-masked-as-praise when I bragged about the $29 delivery solution and decided I needed a wrinkle to keep things from being too straightforward.  I've been through the mountain of cardboard from top to bottom, and the promised 6 boxes of hinge hardware are missing.

Without a replacement, I couldn't complete the Hellquest and was forced complete a side quest to allow further progress.  My only alternative was to call upon the Ikea High Command and demand compensation for this outrage.

Or if that doesn't work, begging will ensue.



Hellquest, Chapter 4:  After 2 hours and 5 minutes of hold time with Ikea High Command, I was successful in the side quest.  For the next two days, I heard their hold music and looping messaging whenever I closed my eyes.

After a week's delay, the replacement hardware arrived at my doorstep.



Hellquest, Chapter 5:   It was a close thing, but negotiations with Ikea High Command were fruitful, allowing evil to be vanquished. 

I was a little nervous, because I didn't actually get any shipping info for the missing hardware until Friday.  But, FedEx h at it at my doorstep by 9am Saturday.  The quest was set to resume on Sunday afternoon.

Today after other chores, I steadied my nerves and went to install the doors.  This was mostly straightfoward, and I was able to assembly-line a lot of it, and it all went well.  I did have one hiccup with the hinge hardware - that failed to seat properly but felt secured - that caused me to de-install all the doors and put them back on.  Otherwise, I had very few adjustments.  I'll let things settle overnight and then see if I need to square-up anything.

The upper areas will become the home for my KDM and SoB collections, and Mrs. Zoxe's Super Dungeon Explore.  The lower areas will likely be crammed with all sorts of games, although presently it's hiding my KDM Wave 2 boxes and Gloomhaven.  I've not secured to the wall yet, but will - not sure if we want it along that wall or in the opposite corner. 

The pictures make it look smaller than it actually is.  Total width is just under 6 feet - the KDM Phoenix standing guard is one of my largest figures with a 12" wingspan.

The gaming surface was a $99 clearance find at our local Mendards.  It's 53 x 40 and enough room to play most anything. 

Quest Complete! On to the next!  KDM Phoenix standing guard.

We found the very large coffee table on clearance at a local home improvement store - $99! and it's big enough to play most anything.

Now, back to town to find solace at the local public house and await our next adventure.